All the Crushing and Pressing

"In the crushing 

In the pressing

You are making

New wine

In the soil, I

Now surrender

You are breaking

New ground" 

-New Wine by Hillsong 

Anything that has to do with growth or creation seems to have to do with difficulty and even death. 

The seed cannot stay intact to produce a plant, it must break. I often marvel at the ability of a tiny seedling breaking its head through the rough dirt. Growth means breaking. 

In order for something metal to be forged it but be hammered away, it must be melted and then hammered again. For the purest metal to be shown the dross must be melted away as well and this can only happen at extremely high temperatures. 

For a potter to make the perfect bowl he must kneed and kneed and pound and shape the clay and finally he must bake it in an oven. 

And finally for wine to be made the grapes but be crushed and pressed over and over again. 

I think we tend to shy away from the uncomfortable and difficulties of life. Our flesh is strong when we continue to feed it what it wants, which is comfort. I have often been tempted to throw in the towel at missions work. I don't need to be a beautiful silver spoon or a pretty clay bowl or even a mighty oak, it is too much difficulty and yuck...growth. 

What if I just got an awesome job? Then we could support ourselves. 

These thoughts have run through my mind. But then I look back on the path God has lead me and I think of the 17 year old in the jungle hearing the voice of her Creator calling to give her life 100% to Him on the mission field and I think, "Okay it is worth one more wack of the hammer to create something beautiful." 

If you stop growing you are dead. Plants do not continue to bear fruit if they are dead and we are the same. Sometimes it is overwhelming the weight one carries when they minister to those around them, the weight of hundreds of sad hearts burdened with the difficulties of life. Sometimes it is overwhelming the weight of God calling us out farther into the waters where the waves are higher. The amount of money needed, the words needed, the time needed, the wisdom needed it is all in that pressing. And the new wine that pours out is the result. The results are what last for eternity. The result is faith. When we spend eternity with Jesus the results of our struggle will be what brings God the most glory. 

Take a Deep Breath and...Go!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding
in all your ways acknowledge him
and he will direct your paths." Prov. 3:5-6

The title of this blog is just a little insight of how I felt writing this, so bare with me. 
Life is hard. The struggle is real. And one of mine and Gallo's greatest struggles in life is the F WORD. Finances.I have said it before and I will say it again, it is a complete joy and blessing to trust in God in such a raw way and I wouldn't have it any other way. But that does not diminish the difficulty of paying rent, saving for a car, saving for a future family, and hoping to afford health insurance, all while pioneering and financially backing our brand new ministry Ilumina. But God never fails and we trust in that.  
Yesterday I was having an internal dialogue with God about our situation.
He spoke two things, 1. Don't be ashamed. and 2. Communicate. How many times have you seen a homeless person on the street or a Go Fund Me account on Facebook? How many ministries and orphanages and missionaries do you encounter that need funding? I think in all the white noise of missions and ministries and Facebook accounts and updates, we become deaf, we scroll through. I have given a deaf ear or a blind eye many times, always with the thought, "Someone else will give..." or "Someone else will go..." or "Someone else will stop and help..." But this led me to remember a story that happened to us over the summer. 
In July, Gallo and I took a trip to his parent's house in Nayarit in southern Mexico. It was a great time full of family, fun, food and of course the beach! Nearing the end of our vacation we went to one of our favorite beaches in Nayarit called, Chacala where we had gotten married only a year before. The water is the perfect temperature there and the waves are huge, so fun to swim in. When we go we spend hours upon hours in the water, it's the perfect place. As were swimming that day we were enjoying our time in the water floating on our backs and playing in the waves when suddenly we heard screaming. To our right we saw two people splashing and yelling for help, a strong rip current was dragging them out to sea. It appeared to be a small boy and an older gentleman. Gallo immediately began to swim towards them but they were far away and the waves made it hard to swim. My brother in law and I began to swim towards them too, I knew we wouldn't get there very fast but we couldn't just stay where we were and watch. Gallo finally got to the them as he is a strong swimmer. The boy was struggling and holding on to the older man who was trying to hold him up but going under himself. The older man told Gallo to take the boy. Gallo knew he couldn't save both the man and the boy, so he grabbed the boy as the man went completely under the water. I remember watching everything and screaming at the other people closer to the struggle to do something to help! Gallo struggled swimming against the current with the boy clinging to him. I continued to yell as loud as I could as I swam but the other people just watched not even swimming, not doing anything, just watching. I wasn't strong enough to get through the waves, they kept pushing me back. Finally another man arrived with a boogie board to save the older man who had gone under. Gallo arrived to the shore with the boy all out of breath. I went to shore as well in amazement that God saved all three of them. Then I looked out across the beach, there were 100's of people that had been watching this whole episode and only one man came to help. One. 
With all the need that is around us, that someone to help is me and you. I want to give more, be more available and never give the excuse "someone else will..." Be obedient today and that obedience will bring so much more. 

So in light of that I encourage you to give up the idea of "someone else will..." 

Want to be a part of changing Mexico and the world? 
We need your help! 
Be a part of our monthly giving team, we cannot do what we do without you. We need a larger and committed support team dedicated to the vision God has given.  

Click on this link below to find out how to support our ministry monthly. 

https://ywamsdb.webconnex.com/StaffSupport

Or email me for more information at eswen91@gmail.com

 

Photo Booth at our most recent youth event, Ilumina en la Calle 

We love our city! We also love our YOUTH. 

Praising God in the middle of Zona Norte.
Bringing light into the darkness. 

We love to instill in our youth that worshiping God is FUN. 

We have amazing leaders in Ilumina! 

Declaring light in the darkness. 

Safety Isn't First

Recently in my devotional time I was praying about how I don't want to just be like any other missionary, any other Christian, I want to make my mark, be bold, a force to be reckoned with. Not just do missions work for the sake of work. In fact I realized I don't even know how to live another life other than a "Christian" life because there was never a time when I didn't know who Jesus was. (It's so refreshing to have an identity crisis every few months, it keeps you on your toes.) How do life long Christians live like this?! Well, many of us live inside the borders of "normal" and "safe" and "logical". I remember back when I went on my first missions trip to Bolivia in 2008. I was so nervous and everyone was reassuring me, "The safest place to be is inside the will of God." I took that as literal, physical safety, everything would be alright I would be safe, but really is that how we are to live? Safe?

I think of the quote from The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S Lewis when the siblings are asking the Beavers about Aslan, “Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
When did Jesus ever promise us we would be safe? He actually warned us about quite an opposite lifestyle of hunger, torture and death all in His name. 
Christians in the middle east certainly aren't safe, and I guarantee as they continue to be obedient to God they are completely inside his will and glorifying him in the midst of horrific persecution. 

We, Church, are living in safety, within the idea of logic. We claim to give our lives to a slain King who rose again from the dead three days later who then went back into heaven 40 days later and said he would come back for us. That's not logical, it doesn't make sense. Explaining the Gospel makes no sense to those who have never heard it before and yet we call it beautiful. However if God calls us to something radical, we sit back in our chairs and think, "could this be?" 

During our Ilumina youth conference a few weeks ago, on the last night of the conference we had a night we call the "Unforgettable Night". We did a reenactment of the persecution that Christians receive all over the world. After dragging our campers out of bed around midnight with (fake) guns and torches and then "murdering" people who professed the name of Jesus, Gallo asked them a loaded question. "Who is willing to live their lives for Jesus, not just with your words or actions but with your whole life?" The majority of the youth made a declaration that night they are willing to risk everything for Jesus. 
Jesus was thought of as crazy, a lunatic really. Wouldn't we all rather be called a lunatic by the world than be told "I never knew you" in eternity. Let's stop looking at safety and comfort as our priority and start living a life worthy of the death of a King. All we need is a mustard seed of faith to step out. 

#YWAM4life

We call ourselves YWAM-ers, aka missionaries that work with Youth with a Mission. We are all very unique but sometimes you can spot a YWAM-er from miles away. 

1. Pants from Nepal, Thailand or India, or all three. Face it, we have either been to one or all of these countries or we know someone who has been to one or all of these countries, and they lovingly brought you back some flowy pants with crazy designs all over them. Extra points if they have elephants on them. 

2. You wear chacos, even if at one point you said you would never wear them. Can't beat the versatility and comfy walking shoe that's a sandal I guess when you go on outreach to Africa, or to the grocery store.  

3. You have a lot of backpacks. Once you become YWAM staff you suddenly find yourself travelling a lot or you find yourself around a lot of people who travel. And over time you begin to accumulate backpacks. I have so many hiking backpacks in my house, and don't ask me how I got them.  

This is me with my first hiking backpack!
It had already been to Bolivia and Ethiopia and I was taking it to Mexico
 for my first time back in 2012! 

4. You make acronyms. Go to the ywam.org website and you will find hundreds of magical schools with awesome names that are quite long and hey it's easier to just acronym it. Just like our name! YWAM! There is the DTS, CSBS, SBS, CTDS, BCC, SOMD, FCYM, SOFM...just to name a few. 

5. You have a tattoo. I don't know what it is about tattoos but having one or getting one after your DTS (wait till after graduation please.) is kind of like your stamp that tells the world, I am a YWAM-er and I mean business. The more Christian your tattoo is the better, is it a cross? 5 points. Is it a single word but holds so much meaning, such as FREE, FORGIVEN, SAVED, HOPE, LOVE, PEACE, PATIENCE or two small words, SEND ME...10 points per word. Is it in Greek or Hebrew? Even better! That's super Christian, they are original languages the Bible was written in so 20 points for that (I have a tattoo in Greek so 20 points for me!) 

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6. You love to GIVE. I have never encountered more gracious people than YWAM-ers. I love how YWAM bases live out their faith. It reminds me of the early church in Acts. "And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had." Acts 2: 44. It's interesting how those who have so little often give the most. Because we all live on monthly support, we get to rely on God in such a raw way and we understand the struggle each missionary has to trust in provision sometimes. Being a YWAM-er is amazingly full of blessing. 

7. You love to talk about which season you are in. We love seasons around here and I am not talking about winter, spring, summer or fall. I am talking spiritually. We often hear the words, I am just in this really hard season, or dry season or happy season or confusing season. Things change a lot in YWAM in very short periods of time so in makes sense, "For everything there is a season..." 

What do you think makes a YWAM-er a YWAM-er? Share your thoughts! And go and know God and make Him known! 

Top Reasons how You Know You are in a Cross Cultural Relationship

This is one of our very first unofficial pictures together. 

 On November 11, 2014 Gallo asked me on our first date. I should have known the crazy ride we were in for when I barely even understood what he asked me that night. Welcome to the wonderful magical world of cross cultural relationships! 

I was prepared for the worst, fighting, disagreeing, not being understood, not getting along with relatives, the list went on. What was I getting into being with a *gulp* Latino?! 
All in all I have been PLEASANTLY surprised at the beauty and not-terribly difficult bi-cultural relationship I am in. Here are some reasons you know you are in a relationship with someone who is not from your home culture. 

Numero One: You talk in both languages at the same time and in the same sentence. "Pasame the salt please?" 

Numero Two: When you are arguing and the person arguing says a word funny or wrong in the other person's language and you both immediately start laughing. For example, Gallo was looking for his glasses case and couldn't find it, he thought I lost it and we were arguing about it. "No se donde esta tu "cachuche!!" I yelled. We both burst out laughing because the word is "estuche" for glasses case, cachuche isn't even a word. It helped break the tension. 

Number Tres: You are basically a white girl playing the role of Mexican wife. In my case that is. My grocery cart looks like that of a 5'2'' long hair milk chocolate complexion Mexican woman and not a 5'6'' Scandinavian. 

Numero Four: The whole not letting your feet touch the cold floor or not taking a shower when your body is hot from exercise thing is really getting out of hand at my house. We have conversations about the validity of these concerns perhaps every other day. 

Number Cinco: When you switch off and on what kind of breakfast you are having, Mexican or American. Sometimes tortillas, sometimes pancakes. 

All you cross cultural relationship friends out there what kind of things have you dealt with in your relationship? Especially those of you with kids I am sure you ran into a lot of interesting situations. I want to know! Share them here! 

our parents really get along well. this is when Gallo first met my parents. 

When we met! 

In Puerto Vallarta. Would we have known we would get married there a year in a half later? 

This is our first official picture, saying to the world, "ya we like each other."

When I met my suegros (in-laws). I am blessed beyond words by my in-laws. 

The Big Scary Duty of Raising Funds

Oh the missionary life. 
Thrift store clothes always (luckily it's hip to shop there now), beat up car (if you even have a car), you will never own a home too expensive, no fun, no going out to dinner or the movies, you are poor, you are a missionary. 
Sometimes as missionaries we have the expectation on ourselves that this is the life we are to lead, boring poor lives. 
We live on the financial support of others, we live off the generosity of other people, sometimes even strangers. This causes a somewhat awkward existence. 
Can I go get coffee at my favorite cafe? What will my supporters think? My nose piercing cost $12. Was that wasteful? Am I ungrateful and unwise with my money? After all, its all given to me, should I ask if its okay?
I know missionaries with cars, and houses, MacBook computers and vacations... 
I live in a community of missionaries, I have seen many different lifestyles and choices made with finances, I see how things work and yet...
I often feel I have dug my own hole of judgement where my self is the subject of ridicule. 
My Amazon account haunts me. I am not allowed to have nice things. 
These are things I tell myself. 
I wanted to slink off to Europe unknown because I didn't know how to explain to people I am a missionary and I am travelling Europe at the same time. Missionaries can't travel they don't have the resources. 

While in Athens I was walking and talking with a fellow YWAM-er. He said something I will never forget, "Why do we (missionaries) think we need to lead miserable lives?" I thought about it, I was walking the streets of Athens after two weeks of visiting friends all over Europe, I was not leading a life of misery in any way and I didn't realize I was carrying the guilt bag until he said that statement. I felt guilty for living my life, and often still do. Everything I bought, ate, every movie I watched or coffee I drank, all was done in guilt. This money should be used for paying rent or saving it till next month, what about Ilumina? Do I even think of the youth? How will they know Jesus if I am buying myself a coffee. 
My judgement kept getting deeper and deeper. 

God has recently challenged my faith and my prayer life. He has called me to pray as if I actually believed he was going to answer my prayers. I had been living months of apathetic prayers and shallow petitions. As I prayed I felt my faith flicker as God fanned the flames. "Believe in Me for a car."
Oh great...here we go. Jumping off another cliff into the oblivion of faith. 
Gallo and I are now praying earnestly and raising funds and saving for the car that God has in store for us and also our own piece of land so we can eventually build our own home and not have to pay rent anymore. I know we have a good God who is my Father and he wants to give me good, and nice things. I am choosing not to be self conscious about anything he gives me. Of course we should have nice things, because our God is our Daddy and he wants us to be blessed and be a blessing! This pious self denial poverty mentality of some Christians, missionaries is pathetic. He is the Most High God! I will accept his blessings with gratitude, I will drink coffee and travel the world if HE provides it, if not, its simple, I won't. Gallo and I will watch him provide for all our needs, great and small and we will not go in need because we are his children and we trust in him. We will have a car soon, we will raise more than $50,000 for our land and home because nothing is impossible for God.  
Will you trust in him? Will you pray big prayers and believe they will be answered? 

Set the World on Fire

Last week, a wise friend and mentor recommended that I listen to a teaching from Skye Jethani, (influential writer, pastor and speaker: click to learn more about Jethani.) The teaching was called "Rethinking Radical" click here to hear the amazing teaching! As I was painting my nails in my kitchen I was extremely challenged not only as a missionary but as a Christian while I listened to this teaching.
Jethani spoke about the age old story of the Prodigal Son. We have all heard so many teachings on this famous parable about the wayward son and his merciful father. Jethani took a new approach, one I have never heard before. He spoke of the wayward son, how he returned to the Father not in repentance but in selfishness. He returned because he was hungry and needed a job, not because he felt bad for what he did. Yet the loving and oh so merciful Father still accepted him back as his son. Jethani goes on to explain how our Christian walk tends to be about us and what we can get from God in His name of course. So much of my walk with Christ had become about me being the best, in Jesus name. "Jesus help me with my Spanish so I can share more about You, Jesus give me wisdom so I can bless more people, Jesus we need favor with this pastor or with these youth, or blah blah blah." All in the name of Jesus. I was impacted greatly by this conviction. 

In just a week Gallo, our team, and I will begin a new journey as we enter into the unknown. Soon, Ilumina Churches will begin. Every four weeks we will be doing huge youth events at different churches around our area in Rosarito and Tijuana. We will have the same DNA as our Ilumina Conference (we just had our first conference in the summer of 2016) but all jam packed into one energy filled night instead of over a few days. 
I am so excited and expectant that God has amazing things in store for these events. But after listening to "Rethinking Radical" God challenged my view point. Jethani taught that the word "radical" comes from the Latin word "radicalis" which means, having roots. Therefore those who are radical are those rooted, grounded, wise, not quick to make decisions but thoughtful. I have not been that person. With Ilumina coming I was getting way over the top with my "passion". I was a tree without root. I lost the why in what I did. I was more preoccupied about the churches getting on board, about our team catching the vision and the details getting in place than I was about putting Christ in the center. If you asked me a week ago what my definition was of radical it would have been something like, "over the top" "crazy" or "creative". Those things aren't bad but I want to be rooted and wise. I want to abide before I venture out into the craziness of ministry. 

That's just what Jethani finishes with in this teaching, abiding. I don't want to see what I can get from God, rather, what I can give to him as praise. This morning I had a sweet time of fellowship with God, it was so fulfilling and although on paper, sitting and abiding in Christ doesn't get your to-do list done, it makes everything on your to-do list worth while. Be radical and the outflow of being rooted in Christ will so beautiful.

Please pray for us as Ilumina Churches begin this week! If you want to learn more about Ilumina and what we do, please visit our website at www.omargallo.weebly.com