I Think I am Ugly

It is a hard thing to be a girl. I remember the first time I felt ugly. I was at church in youth group and I remember thinking my friends were so pretty, why wasn't I pretty like them? I was probably 11 or 12 years old. This shows the reality of our human condition doesn't it? No one ever told me I was ugly, actually it was the opposite, I was always told I was beautiful, inside and out. But my human heart automatically chose the worst. 
I am sure all of you women reading out there can relate with me. Middle school and high school were rough. Low self esteem was queen in my life, I couldn't understand who I was on the inside, and I tried to compensate for that on the outside. Looking at pictures of myself in high school I can remember the heart ache of just wanting to think of myself as pretty as the other girls. I compared and judged and compared and judged. I am quite a bit more confident in who I am now, with the personality and talents God has given to me. But how I am on the outside? I wish I could say I was over that. I wish I could say I grew out of it. But I don't think we ever grow out of our struggles, our human nature gravitates towards it. I am 23 almost 24, I still have the same struggles I did when I was a teenager looking in the mirror, with the "evil Ellie" thoughts running through my head, "You don't look good today." "You look fat." "Your face is breaking out." "Your hair is ugly." Blah, blah, blah. 
There are so many reasons why those thoughts are so wrong. ONE, they are just plain vain. I spend too much time thinking of myself rather than thinking about God or other people around me. And, TWO, who am I to tell God he messed up? Like, "Um sorry God, my hair is way too thin and frizzy, you messed that one up!" "Good job with creating the universe God! It is so beautiful, sorry you messed up on me." This is absurd. God knew exactly what he was doing when he created us. But how do I shake these consuming thoughts? Thank you God for sending us your Word! The answer is right there in Romans 12:2: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Set your thoughts on the things of Spirit, be transformed by being willing to see yourself and those around you through the eyes of Jesus!