Chambeando en Mexico:

I watched my mom for the past years try and attempt to make Ethiopian food for my brothers Sammy and Zem. She probably made injera (a sourdough type of flat bread that is floppy and a staple food for all Ethiopians) at least 20+ times since we adopted Zem in 2011. Needless to say, she did not master it. There is something about being an Ethiopian woman who was born and bred to make injera, it's in her blood.

I have learned, much to my dismay, that Mexican food is the same way. One does not learn to make tortillas in one try. Salsa making is more like chemistry than cooking. And I just happen to have a (future) mother in law who might be the best cook in all of Mexico.
So what is a guera (a nice name for white girl in Mexico) to do?
I keep moving forward. Practice makes perfect right? 

I have had a constant uphill battle with a popular breakfast dish called chilaquiles. In basic English, tortilla chips cooked in salsa till they are soft. You top the dish off with shredded chicken, a fried egg, avocado, lettuce, cilantro, queso fresco (a crumbly dried cheese) lime, and Mexican cream.
There are two kinds, chilaquiles verdes (green) or chilaquiles rojas (red). When making chilaquiles you must know your ratio of tomatoes, garlic, and peppers. There are also many different kinds of peppers one can use, depending on the flavor and spice you are looking for.
Most recipes I have seen and tried to duplicate use the common jalapeno, or chipotle chiles.
If one is making chilaquiles verdes, you use jalepenos obviously because they are green and tomatillos (a green tomato). The other day I was feeling so confident in my chilaquiles. The night before I had a long talk with a good friend who is Mexican and has "chilaquil" making in her blood. I told her my problems...it was pitiful. But she encouraged me. "Well, how many people are you making it for?" "Oh maybe 4 or 5." I say. "Do you want to make them green or red?" "Lets go with green." (There really isn't too big of a difference I have found, but my taste buds aren't Mexican.) "Okay green. You will need 8 tomatillos and 4 jalapeno chilies." I had it! It was easy, how could it not? She just said how many to get, tomorrow was going to be the long awaited day, the day I beat chilaquiles, the day I truly became Mexican! (Not really but it my head this was going to happen.)
I arrive at our local Oxxo to buy the necessary ingredients with all my friend's advice in mind. I walk up to the produce and see one small tomatillo all alone among the bright red tomatoes. My world was shattered. How was I to figure this out. Red tomatoes are a little bigger than tomatillos, the ratio would for sure be off. So I gulped and grabbed 5 red tomatoes and 3 jalepenos. I guessed. That's right I guessed. My white girl, American brain guessed at how many tomatoes to jalepenos just like I had been the countless times before.
The next morning I fried my tortillas in the pan, roasted the tomatoes, garlic, and jalepenos and then blended them. I shredded the chicken. Fried the egg, cut the lettuce and prayed. I really did pray, I prayed this meal would bless my fiance whether or not they were good. I pray a lot about that these days as I struggle towards my goal of expert cook.
Well, my chilaquiles got an 8 out of 10 that day. Not bad! Next time we will aim for a 10. Next time I will beat chilaquiles. And once I master these soggy tortilla chips I will move on to another dish, and then another and another until my finger tip nerves are burned off from flipping tortillas and I don't have to look at a recipe book.  

Chilaquiles Verdes 

Chilaquiles Rojos 

Thoughts on Community Living

Today is my day off, we will see if I can keep it like that for the whole day. I work in hospitality here on the base in San Antonio del Mar in Tijuana. We have housing here on campus that can house up to 400 people (I think, don't quote me but it is a lot of beds). Needless to say with 2 schools being run here right now, Homes of Hope teams coming multiple times a week as well as my other ministries and social life, I am very busy. I have been pondering my life a lot these days, I have become very thoughtful on the concept of how we operate here at YWAM. 
Youth With a Mission teaches us a lot on community living. It's the first thing we learn about when we enter into YWAM on our first day of our DTS (discipleship training school). Like, how to be a good roommate and respect others around you. Our base is like a giant body, working, moving, everyone with their own function, just like the Body of Christ should be. It is really a beautiful thing. There is a thought that comes to my mind nearly every day, whether something good or bad has happened, and that is "Well, I live in community." 
There are some perks to living with 50-60 other people. 
1. There is always something to do! Let's get a group and watch a movie, go to tacos, go to the beach, go evangelize, you name it! 
2.The extrovert side of me is always satisfied. Going to bed to the sound of my housemates, waking up to the sound of my housemates, hearing the meeting going on outside my trailer, the DTS worshiping in their classroom. For me it is great to be surrounded by people 24/7. 
3. We get to eat all our meals together! What is more bonding than food?
4. I live with my best friends! It is practically a sleepover every night here in the staff girls trailer. Always sharing stories, clothes, food, movies, music etc. 
5. We worship together. 3 times a week or more! 
6. We pray together. I love the fact that spontaneous prayer throughout the day is a norm for me and everyone here. 
7. We are a giant family, we lift each other up in the good times and the bad. I know I am cared about and that my opinions, worries, joys, my entire life, is cherished and cared about by my YWAM family. 

I would say the perks outweigh the cons, but there are some cons. 
1. You are constantly surrounded. Having a bad day? Wanna get away? Good luck with that, not too many places you can go to be alone. One needs to be creative. 
2. You are living with 9 other people, in a double wide trailer. The kitchen is a battle ground of cleanliness versus dirtiness. Or let's play the "Guess what's in that container that has been in the freezer for 6 months." The bathrooms are a free for all. Have to go to the bathroom at peak bathroom hours? Do a little dance and hope they are almost done in there. 
3. There are opinions. Opinions on how to do your job, how to do another persons job, how to do ministry, how to cook, how to clean, how to communicate, how to worship, how to dress, the list could go on but you get my point. Opinions are everywhere. 
4. Sharing. We have to not only share living space, but we have to share our,cars, food, work space. I go through a lot of pens, scissors, and tape. Need a car? Cross your fingers and hope they aren't all checked out.  
5. People always ask you do something. This isn't a bad thing! Except when it's your day off. That's why, if it's your day off you really need to not leave your house. 
6. We live in a incubator. If one person is sick, it doesn't take long for a plague to break out on the base. Survival of the fittest applies around here. Hand sanitizer is our friend. 

I count it an enormous blessing to be able to live and work and worship among my YWAM family each and every day. God is good. 

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like minded have the same love, being on in spirit and purpose." Philippians 2:1-2    

The Wall that Separates Us

There is this really distinct smell to Zona Norte. It's weird how garbage, smoke from taco stands, cigarettes, marijuana, and diesel can create such nostalgia in me. By now, the lights and sounds are somewhat calming. It is such a supernatural feeling to be compelled and driven by the Holy Spirit while down there. It is such a freeing feeling to walk these streets every Saturday night with absolutely nothing on the agenda but open ears and soft hearts. Zona Norte could be considered one of the darkest places in the world. It definitely is to me. But something God tells me each time I go, each time I see the men filing into the strip clubs, each time I see a woman walk off with a customer, each time I see a homeless deportee, God tells me "this place is MINE." It might appear to to look like the good guys lost, one wouldn't say Zona Norte is a happy place full of happy people. But the earth is the Lord's and everything in it, Zona Norte is HIS. He has claimed victory over sin and death and the power of the Devil, so we must walk out in this victory. 
Last Saturday we met a man who had just been deported. He was so sad, he kept saying over and over again how sad he was. His wife and kids were still in California. He said he had just talked to his wife, and that she now had a boyfriend. His voice was desperate, "And we are still married." My heart breaks for him. He told us how his kids are growing up without him, how he found a job and house here in Tijuana but it doesn't matter. "I have food, money, a house, but I am still hungry, empty." We were standing on a street that faced the border. From Zona Norte you can see the border, it is the part of Tijuana that touches the States. He looked up and pointed at the border, "And they are just over there!" He kept saying how sad he was. It was really difficult, he was so desperate. 
I think because of his desperation he was in a good place to believe that God could work a miracle in his family. We prayed for him and encouraged him. My prayer now is that he can have peace and hope in Christ Jesus. That his hunger can be satisfied by the Bread of Life. 

One of my little friend's gave me a early Valentine's Day sucker at Zone Kids last Tuesday.
She had a matching sucker so we took a picture. 

This month at Zone Kids we are doing a series called Heroes of the Bible.
We talked about trusting in God the way Abraham trusted in God.
We made super hero masks afterwards.
 It was a very popular craft.  

True and Faultless Religion/Fighting for the Cause

The Bible students here at YWAM San Diego/Baja are working chronologically through the Bible. Right now they are in Isaiah. I thought I would read Isaiah too, of course they read it in a week, I think it will take me a little bit longer than that. However there is something that stuck out to me right away, orphans and widows. 

God really drives this topic home. He chastises the Israelites over and over again about their rebellion and wicked ways. And nearly every time when he says what they must do to repent, he says something along the lines of, "learn to do good, seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widows cause." (Is. 1:17) This is something incredibly close to God's heart. 

Something that grieves the heart of God is not caring about the widow's cause, not bringing justice to the orphans. God lists among the thieves, robbers, adulterers, and idolaters, people who do not care about the widows and orphans. Yikes this is deep stuff! This is important!

I am not saying sell your belongs and move to Ethiopia to start and orphanage (although if you do, I will visit you in a heartbeat.) But I am saying, are you being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and what you CAN do? 

Here in Mexico, we are all daily slapped in the face with the reality of the human condition, its very prevalent here. The reality is there are lonely, neglected children, abused wives, hungry widows, sick men, dying babies. No one understands this more than our God. So let's trust in him to lead us to these people! 

God has placed me in the lives of many of these kids, mothers, fathers, women, and men. My heart breaks for them, and their justice, their cause has become my cause. My desire is for them to experience the intense love and saving grace of their Heavenly Father and through that they can have everlasting hope. What will your cause be?

Just Shake It Off

I refuse to watch The Passion of the Christ. That kind of thing really effects me, human suffering, pain, torture, I can't handle it, even if it is the reality, even if it is what my Savior did for me. The other day I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I came across a picture of a Nepalese Christian pastor being burned at the stake for his faith. The look of intense pain and anguish as his legs are being burned off is forever etched into my brain whether I like it or not. Now, when I say these things effect me so much I can't bare to see it, I am not saying I am indifferent. I UNDERSTAND, I KNOW, what Jesus did for me on the cross, I do not need a movie to remind me. I have compassion, I am compelled to pray for the persecuted believers all over the world, I don't need to see pictures to remind me. I am not indifferent, I care so much it hurts. 

Working in the red light district of Tijuana, Mexico is another thing. I have heard the deportation stories, the stories of loss, violence, heartache, pain. I am faced with them every time we step into the park to do Zone Kids, every time we go to La Roca and visit with the people, every time we go to Zona Norte and talk with the people in the streets there. There is intense loss and heartache all around us. Some of the kids in my group at Zone Kids are neglected and abused, they have endured and seen things they never should at such young ages. We see so many women working in prostitution, the amount is staggering, and that is just in Tijuana. 
We could all list the pain we see daily, but it would take too long. We live in a broken world. It is our reality. 
After ministry, we often pray that we would not carry anything unnecessary back home with us, the burdens and sadness are not ours to bear. 
You might be thinking, wait Ellie, the Bible says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Yes! Do that! But Jesus also says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” So, yes, have compassion! But lay those burdens at the foot of the cross, do not carry them around. Intercede in prayer for people who are hurting. I was once convicted, if I prayed for the kids I work with as much as I worry about them what a difference that would make. Turn that anxiety and worry into fervent prayer. Jesus already has the victory over sin, death, and the power of the Devil. I am compelled to stop acting like sin has won, we need to walk in the Light, in victory. Romans chapter 12 is great and I leave you with this, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Amen. 

I Think I am Ugly

It is a hard thing to be a girl. I remember the first time I felt ugly. I was at church in youth group and I remember thinking my friends were so pretty, why wasn't I pretty like them? I was probably 11 or 12 years old. This shows the reality of our human condition doesn't it? No one ever told me I was ugly, actually it was the opposite, I was always told I was beautiful, inside and out. But my human heart automatically chose the worst. 
I am sure all of you women reading out there can relate with me. Middle school and high school were rough. Low self esteem was queen in my life, I couldn't understand who I was on the inside, and I tried to compensate for that on the outside. Looking at pictures of myself in high school I can remember the heart ache of just wanting to think of myself as pretty as the other girls. I compared and judged and compared and judged. I am quite a bit more confident in who I am now, with the personality and talents God has given to me. But how I am on the outside? I wish I could say I was over that. I wish I could say I grew out of it. But I don't think we ever grow out of our struggles, our human nature gravitates towards it. I am 23 almost 24, I still have the same struggles I did when I was a teenager looking in the mirror, with the "evil Ellie" thoughts running through my head, "You don't look good today." "You look fat." "Your face is breaking out." "Your hair is ugly." Blah, blah, blah. 
There are so many reasons why those thoughts are so wrong. ONE, they are just plain vain. I spend too much time thinking of myself rather than thinking about God or other people around me. And, TWO, who am I to tell God he messed up? Like, "Um sorry God, my hair is way too thin and frizzy, you messed that one up!" "Good job with creating the universe God! It is so beautiful, sorry you messed up on me." This is absurd. God knew exactly what he was doing when he created us. But how do I shake these consuming thoughts? Thank you God for sending us your Word! The answer is right there in Romans 12:2: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Set your thoughts on the things of Spirit, be transformed by being willing to see yourself and those around you through the eyes of Jesus!  

Outcasts

Like every Saturday night, we took to the streets of Zona Norte. Usually we stop in the busiest part of downtown to worship and pray. These streets are bright and loud, lights are flashing, food is cooking, people are rushing. But last night we decided to head towards the side streets, the streets that aren't lit up by bright lights and flashing signs. These streets are smelly, and dark. These streets are the streets the women work on that don't get offered a job in the strip clubs and bars. These are the streets that according to society, the lowest of the low are on. So, we decided to pray and worship here. 

Usually we are are a group of about 10. If one person stops to talk to someone, the whole group stops, we are fluid, together but spread out.  
We were walking along the sidewalk and we hear a prostitute laughing and laughing (I think she may have been under the influence of something). A couple of us stopped and began to talk to her. While we talked with her and prayed with her, people began to come out of the woodwork. We always bring a guitar, this attracts people, but I also believe it's the power of the Holy Spirit that causes people to approach us. We began to sing with a man who had a guitar of his own, while another group began to talk with a homeless man. Some ladies stopped and began to sing with us as well. It was incredible. Before we left for Zona Norte, I prayed that the people would see that there is freedom in Jesus and that they would crave that freedom and peace, that they would crave the Holy Spirit. One lady didn't want to leave us. She kept singing and singing, ignoring the prodding of her group to get going. She was craving the presence of God. The homeless man we were talking to had so much to say, I could tell all he needed was someone to listen to. I believe most of these people just need to be heard, to be cared about. Another man with a guitar watched from the distance. When we invited him to come over and play with us, he refused. He seemed to have been crying. A few of us went over and began to talk with him, he apparently had left the church and our singing moved him to return. 

As I took all of this in, I knew this is what the Kingdom of God looks like. Groups of people, rich and poor, from every social status, from every job description, every background, People being listened to, cared for, heard. Craving the presence of Jesus.God is so good, and his love is moving even in those dark, smelly streets.