Top Reasons how You Know You are in a Cross Cultural Relationship

This is one of our very first unofficial pictures together. 

 On November 11, 2014 Gallo asked me on our first date. I should have known the crazy ride we were in for when I barely even understood what he asked me that night. Welcome to the wonderful magical world of cross cultural relationships! 

I was prepared for the worst, fighting, disagreeing, not being understood, not getting along with relatives, the list went on. What was I getting into being with a *gulp* Latino?! 
All in all I have been PLEASANTLY surprised at the beauty and not-terribly difficult bi-cultural relationship I am in. Here are some reasons you know you are in a relationship with someone who is not from your home culture. 

Numero One: You talk in both languages at the same time and in the same sentence. "Pasame the salt please?" 

Numero Two: When you are arguing and the person arguing says a word funny or wrong in the other person's language and you both immediately start laughing. For example, Gallo was looking for his glasses case and couldn't find it, he thought I lost it and we were arguing about it. "No se donde esta tu "cachuche!!" I yelled. We both burst out laughing because the word is "estuche" for glasses case, cachuche isn't even a word. It helped break the tension. 

Number Tres: You are basically a white girl playing the role of Mexican wife. In my case that is. My grocery cart looks like that of a 5'2'' long hair milk chocolate complexion Mexican woman and not a 5'6'' Scandinavian. 

Numero Four: The whole not letting your feet touch the cold floor or not taking a shower when your body is hot from exercise thing is really getting out of hand at my house. We have conversations about the validity of these concerns perhaps every other day. 

Number Cinco: When you switch off and on what kind of breakfast you are having, Mexican or American. Sometimes tortillas, sometimes pancakes. 

All you cross cultural relationship friends out there what kind of things have you dealt with in your relationship? Especially those of you with kids I am sure you ran into a lot of interesting situations. I want to know! Share them here! 

our parents really get along well. this is when Gallo first met my parents. 

When we met! 

In Puerto Vallarta. Would we have known we would get married there a year in a half later? 

This is our first official picture, saying to the world, "ya we like each other."

When I met my suegros (in-laws). I am blessed beyond words by my in-laws. 

The Big Scary Duty of Raising Funds

Oh the missionary life. 
Thrift store clothes always (luckily it's hip to shop there now), beat up car (if you even have a car), you will never own a home too expensive, no fun, no going out to dinner or the movies, you are poor, you are a missionary. 
Sometimes as missionaries we have the expectation on ourselves that this is the life we are to lead, boring poor lives. 
We live on the financial support of others, we live off the generosity of other people, sometimes even strangers. This causes a somewhat awkward existence. 
Can I go get coffee at my favorite cafe? What will my supporters think? My nose piercing cost $12. Was that wasteful? Am I ungrateful and unwise with my money? After all, its all given to me, should I ask if its okay?
I know missionaries with cars, and houses, MacBook computers and vacations... 
I live in a community of missionaries, I have seen many different lifestyles and choices made with finances, I see how things work and yet...
I often feel I have dug my own hole of judgement where my self is the subject of ridicule. 
My Amazon account haunts me. I am not allowed to have nice things. 
These are things I tell myself. 
I wanted to slink off to Europe unknown because I didn't know how to explain to people I am a missionary and I am travelling Europe at the same time. Missionaries can't travel they don't have the resources. 

While in Athens I was walking and talking with a fellow YWAM-er. He said something I will never forget, "Why do we (missionaries) think we need to lead miserable lives?" I thought about it, I was walking the streets of Athens after two weeks of visiting friends all over Europe, I was not leading a life of misery in any way and I didn't realize I was carrying the guilt bag until he said that statement. I felt guilty for living my life, and often still do. Everything I bought, ate, every movie I watched or coffee I drank, all was done in guilt. This money should be used for paying rent or saving it till next month, what about Ilumina? Do I even think of the youth? How will they know Jesus if I am buying myself a coffee. 
My judgement kept getting deeper and deeper. 

God has recently challenged my faith and my prayer life. He has called me to pray as if I actually believed he was going to answer my prayers. I had been living months of apathetic prayers and shallow petitions. As I prayed I felt my faith flicker as God fanned the flames. "Believe in Me for a car."
Oh great...here we go. Jumping off another cliff into the oblivion of faith. 
Gallo and I are now praying earnestly and raising funds and saving for the car that God has in store for us and also our own piece of land so we can eventually build our own home and not have to pay rent anymore. I know we have a good God who is my Father and he wants to give me good, and nice things. I am choosing not to be self conscious about anything he gives me. Of course we should have nice things, because our God is our Daddy and he wants us to be blessed and be a blessing! This pious self denial poverty mentality of some Christians, missionaries is pathetic. He is the Most High God! I will accept his blessings with gratitude, I will drink coffee and travel the world if HE provides it, if not, its simple, I won't. Gallo and I will watch him provide for all our needs, great and small and we will not go in need because we are his children and we trust in him. We will have a car soon, we will raise more than $50,000 for our land and home because nothing is impossible for God.  
Will you trust in him? Will you pray big prayers and believe they will be answered? 

Set the World on Fire

Last week, a wise friend and mentor recommended that I listen to a teaching from Skye Jethani, (influential writer, pastor and speaker: click to learn more about Jethani.) The teaching was called "Rethinking Radical" click here to hear the amazing teaching! As I was painting my nails in my kitchen I was extremely challenged not only as a missionary but as a Christian while I listened to this teaching.
Jethani spoke about the age old story of the Prodigal Son. We have all heard so many teachings on this famous parable about the wayward son and his merciful father. Jethani took a new approach, one I have never heard before. He spoke of the wayward son, how he returned to the Father not in repentance but in selfishness. He returned because he was hungry and needed a job, not because he felt bad for what he did. Yet the loving and oh so merciful Father still accepted him back as his son. Jethani goes on to explain how our Christian walk tends to be about us and what we can get from God in His name of course. So much of my walk with Christ had become about me being the best, in Jesus name. "Jesus help me with my Spanish so I can share more about You, Jesus give me wisdom so I can bless more people, Jesus we need favor with this pastor or with these youth, or blah blah blah." All in the name of Jesus. I was impacted greatly by this conviction. 

In just a week Gallo, our team, and I will begin a new journey as we enter into the unknown. Soon, Ilumina Churches will begin. Every four weeks we will be doing huge youth events at different churches around our area in Rosarito and Tijuana. We will have the same DNA as our Ilumina Conference (we just had our first conference in the summer of 2016) but all jam packed into one energy filled night instead of over a few days. 
I am so excited and expectant that God has amazing things in store for these events. But after listening to "Rethinking Radical" God challenged my view point. Jethani taught that the word "radical" comes from the Latin word "radicalis" which means, having roots. Therefore those who are radical are those rooted, grounded, wise, not quick to make decisions but thoughtful. I have not been that person. With Ilumina coming I was getting way over the top with my "passion". I was a tree without root. I lost the why in what I did. I was more preoccupied about the churches getting on board, about our team catching the vision and the details getting in place than I was about putting Christ in the center. If you asked me a week ago what my definition was of radical it would have been something like, "over the top" "crazy" or "creative". Those things aren't bad but I want to be rooted and wise. I want to abide before I venture out into the craziness of ministry. 

That's just what Jethani finishes with in this teaching, abiding. I don't want to see what I can get from God, rather, what I can give to him as praise. This morning I had a sweet time of fellowship with God, it was so fulfilling and although on paper, sitting and abiding in Christ doesn't get your to-do list done, it makes everything on your to-do list worth while. Be radical and the outflow of being rooted in Christ will so beautiful.

Please pray for us as Ilumina Churches begin this week! If you want to learn more about Ilumina and what we do, please visit our website at www.omargallo.weebly.com  

What's Happening to Tijuana?

 When I was in my YWAM secondary school of ministry development I was in agony about where to go on my outreach. I knew in my heart the minute I left all on my own in the big world that would be it, I would be a missionary. I remember praying and praying in the small little prayer room in YWAM Minneapolis, I remember the words God gave me and the encouragement from the Holy Spirit. It was a precious and stretching time. 

My intense passion for inner city work could not be put out, I loved working with indigenous people, their rich cultures and languages and food and bright colors. I loved working with children, in the church, in school, in orphanages. I loved community development and supporting the local the church. I loved every aspect of ministry but my thirst for seeing the lost people of the big dirty stinky beautiful underbelly of big cities could not be quenched. 
During that time of crying out, God gave me a picture of a gang of youth doing graffiti on a big red brick wall. They painted the word help on the wall and I knew what I had to do.

The boarder towns and southern California always sparked my interest, I believe it was all part of God's plan for my life, I had no reason to be drawn here. 
When I arrived in Tijuana the rest is history. This city continues to amaze me! The boarder area has such a unique culture not found anywhere else. No where else can you find such a mix of people from all over. Rarely are people born and raised in Tijuana, most are from southern Mexico or other countries. I love it, I love the intermingling of Mexican American culture only Tijuana can provide. 

a day in the life of a commuter...San Ysidro boarder crossing between San Diego and TJ is the busiest boarder crossing in the entire world, around 70.000 people crossing back and forth
each day. 

Our city now has a new dynamic, over 7,000 guests have arrived from all over Africa and Haiti. I looked up the definitions of REFUGEE and MIGRANT because I couldn't decide what to call these people? In a way they are both. Migrants are people that move from one place to another, refugees flee from something or someone. These people left their countries in search of a better life, fleeing from famine or poverty and they are on the move. They have been headed for the United States, Tijuana is nothing more than a pit stop, for most of them. The minute they are handed their visa they are gone, if they don't receive their visa, well, that's another story I don't know the end to yet.

I have in mind to begin asking the deep questions. Every Wednesday we have been going to visit some of them who are staying in churches and homeless shelters. Their stories are captivating, like something out of a movie. Taking a boat from Colombia to Panama, trekking through the jungles of Central America, hiding from the police, having everything stolen from you, one woman even gave birth and the next day was on a bus headed northwards. 

What are these people after? What makes that land on the other side of the boarder? I guess we will find out, stay tuned. 

What makes these migrant/refugees believe a life in the United States is worth it? Leaving your family and country behind and travelling across the world to find a new life...what do they hope for?
(Picture credit: Tiffany Lambert)   

5 MORE Things You Didn't Know About Mexico

Here are five more of my observations of Mexican culture. Enjoy! 

No forks needed.

1. Everyone sticks together. The other day Kara and I were at the U.S Consulate in Tijuana. Most of the people there were applying for their visas for the States, we were commenting on how even if only one person in the group was applying or interviewing for their visa, everyone came along, the husband, wife, the kids, maybe a sister, and definitely the grandma. Mexico is extremely matriarchal, the mothers and grandmas and mothers in law are the key person of respect in any household and they are always present at any appointment no matter how small or big. Whether it be a hair cut or a visa appointment abuela is there. We have noticed the "family theme" on Homes of Hope builds too, the neighbors are usually always present for the house build as well as any family member that can make it. The more the merrier! 

2. Meal Times. On our YWAM base we stick to the American way and eat at 7:30 am, 12:30 pm, and 5:30 pm. But throughout the rest of Mexico it is a different story. Breakfast is a very large meal eaten between 9:00-11:00 am. Typically with sweet bread and a coffee to follow as dessert. Lunch is eaten between 2:00-4:00 pm. Lunch tends to be more of a sandwich or tacos, a little on the lighter side. And dinner is eaten late, very late. Here in Mexico most of the schools run on block schedule so half of the children will attend school in the morning while the other half go in the afternoon/evening. Some middle schools and high schools don't even get out of class until 8:00 pm so dinner can be around 9:00 or 10:00 pm or later. Going out to eat tacos at 6:00 pm is more like snack time and you will definitely find a table to sit at, if you go at 10:00 pm, it's a different story, good luck finding a table. 


3. Making Fun. When I first arrived in Mexico I thought Mexicans were bullies. Always making fun of you, poking fun, never serious. If you are fat they call you gordito (fatty), if you are skinny, flaquito, if you are Asain or have almond shaped eyes they call you chino. In America we are ultra-sensitive with how people look, and never speak of race or weight or anything of that matter but in Mexico its a different story. I learned over time, if they made fun of me, it meant they liked me. If they poke fun at you, or joke with you, they are paying attention to you and enjoy your company. Mexicans are so relational, relationship is EVERYTHING, and making someone laugh, joking around, and nicknames are just a way to bond and be close.

Mexican Pickup Line of the Day: "You are like my mom's flipflop, when I see you come close my heart rate accelerates."
*Cultural Note: Many good Mexican mamas make use of their flipflop to swat their hijos when they are naughty.* 

4. The Yes Finger. When I first saw it I was confused and didn't think of asking what it meant until it became all too common. The yes finger. Mexicans do it when they are saying yes, as opposed to shaking their head yes. You take you pointer finger and wag it up and down, not side to side like you are saying no but up and down bending it at the knuckles. You often wag your finger to say yes if you are on the phone and therefore cannot speak or are drinking something and cannot give an immediate yes. I have found I have begun to give my yes finger when agreeing with people a lot...even to people who are not Mexican and I have begun to realize I may look silly if one is not accustomed to the yes finger. 

5. Sharing. Mexicans love to share. If you have a bag of chips, keep in mind if your Mexican friends are around, they won't be just yours for very long. Sharing is caring, sharing means you love relationship. When you go out, its family style even if you each have your own plate and individual order. Walking down the street? Make a friend and offer a piece of gum. Some Americans wouldn't except that but a Mexican? Ya why not?! Gum is the best and now I have a new friend. I learned quick if I don't want to share, don't open a new jar of Nutella or ice cream in front of a big group, or you will Nutella-less. 

Sharing is caring!

Why Abortion is Okay for America

The United States was founded on Christian principles, I believe that is why our country was once considered one of the greatest countries in the world. That is why we were once so successful, so helpful, so great. We still are, I am proud to be American, I will never deny who I am or my country. But we have strayed from our foundational beliefs. 
In 2015 the United States supreme court ruled gay marriage to be legal stating that banning same sex marriage was unconstitutional because it was a denial of rights. 
America has begun to slide down the slippery slope of self indulgence, proclaiming that everyone is right if it right for them. (Unless of course you are against gay marriage for example, then everyone tells you that you are intolerant or homophobic.)
 America is not the America it was, and we cannot hold expectations over our non-Christian politicians and leaders that they simply cannot fulfill. I will never expect Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump to suddenly agree with me and my Christian beliefs, so I am not going to get mad at them when they say or do something I don't agree with. Even the American population, I am disappointed that our country has come to the point of having these two presidential nominees but I suppose I never expected my country to elect a pastor as president, let alone a Christian.  

This is why abortion is okay for America. I cannot force a non Christian girl of 17 to not kill her baby, I cannot expect my government to protect life. I wish I could but I cannot. I can vote for those who stand for what is right, I can voice the truth, that all life is sacred but my power is limited, only with God's mighty power can we truly change our laws and culture.  
I have always had the idea of starting from the bottom, starting with the demand instead of the supply. For example instead of picketing Planned Parenthood or taking hidden cameras into board meetings of those on top why not stand outside the building and talk to the girls going in? Why not go to the ghettos and high schools and proclaim God's love and goodness? (You don't need to proclaim abstinence, that will come as the fruit of discipleship). Start with lessening the demand and the supply will indeed go down. And from that, the need for abortion will become obsolete.   

These are my thoughts. If I were to be president I think I would start with a lot of praying. DISCIPLESHIP is so needed in our country right now, friendship, relationship. 

Prayer is so powerful. I could stand at a pulpit right in Washington D.C and preach about the destruction our country is headed for but it boils down to hearts being changed not laws. (Of course there are laws I would change If I had the power, such as abortion for example because it is murder and unconstitutional if I say so.)  But our jobs as Christians is to pray for Mr. Trump and Mrs. Clinton, that somehow, someway they will suddenly have an unrelenting discomfort and need to seek their Creator who is relentlessly pursuing them in love and affection. God bless America! 

5 Things You Don't Know About Mexico

Here is a list of 5 very special things about Mexico. 
1. Chile. Mexicans love spicy. Everything has chile, and I mean everything. From meat, to beans, to vegetables, fruit, chips, candy, everything has chile. There are a lot of types of chile. There is chile powder, or Tajin, which you normally eat with popcorn, fruit or vegetables. Cucumbers, mango, and pineapple with Tajin and a squeezed lime is delectable. There are also salsas or chile in bottle. There are ton of kinds. There are chiles for seafood, meat, and salty things. Here is a picture of Act II popcorn being sold with a bottle of Valentina. Valentina is the most popular chile for salty snacks like chips and popcorn so they are basically saving you a trip to the chile aisle in Wal-Mart. 

2. Chanclas. My sweet husband loves his flipflops for a very special reason. In Mexcio we call them chanclas. In the states we wear flipflops for everything, the beach, pool, going shopping, even church, we wear them with jeans, or a dress or shorts or whatever it may be. In Mexico chanclas serve a different purpose. They protect your precious warm feet from touching the cold floor. Most homes in Mexico are cement or tile, carpet doesn't really exist (they don't need it since it doesn't get too cold here). So you take your outside shoes off at the door and slide your feet into your flipflops (or slippers if you want something cozy). Bare feet are a big no-no. Sometimes if Gallo cannot find his flipflops, mine suffice at protecting him from the chilly floor. 
3. Hot and cold. This has to do with the flipflop thing. If you're feet are warm and they touch the cold floor, many Mexicans believe this will cause you to catch a cold. If your body gets too warm, it must be protected. If you are wet, you will also catch a cold. If your throat hurts, only drink warm things because cold water will hurt your throat more. If you are playing soccer, you must wait for your body to cool off before you take your shoes off. Don't eat or drink anything cold while doing exercise or playing. All these things will cause a cold or worse. 
4. No plans. Not having a plan is usually the plan. Winging it, going with the flow, you name it. Going on vacation? Great. When? Maybe tomorrow or the next day. A great example of this is, the city of Tijuana and the surrounding area were announcing that they were going to shut the city's water off for a number of days. The people readied themselves, the Oxxos where filled with jugs of water for people to buy and everyone was ready. The date passed that they said they would turn the water off, and everyone continued on with their daily lives of showers and dish washing. They did eventually announce a new date for the water turn off a few weeks later but it was a learning curve for us non-Mexicans. You just have to be flexible and enjoy those extra showers a little longer, if the plan is flexible, the people should be too. 
5. Botana. Mexico is known for its street food. I have never known a country to have more street food than Mexico (except maybe Thailand, they love their chicken on a stick!) Ten 'o' clock at night is prime taco eating time, the streets are filled with pungent smoke of the grill cooking that yummy beef. Another aspect of Mexico's love for food is botanas or snacks. I like Mexican snack time, the food tends to be more on the fresh side. Like pineapple, cucumber, mango and jicama (a starchy potato like veggie). A typcial botana would be all the fruits and veggies mixed with "japonese" style peanuts, Tajin and of course chile. In this case the typical choice of chile would be, Chamoy. A very liquidy salsa used for botanas and even popsicles and ice cream. 

Yummy snacks any Mexican teenager would enjoy. Veggies,chips, fruit, ice cream, all topped with Chamoy, chile powder, squeezed lime and peanuts.