Nothing Else Will Satisfy

Here is an excerpt from my journal on November 2: 

" I have finally realized a trend in my life. I am not content. Like fully content. I look at everything as temporary, even if it is, I need to be utterly fulfilled by Jesus and I am not doing that. If I am in school, I am looking for a job, if I am working, I am looking for the mission field, if I am on the mission field and I am looking for the next big thing. I need to let God fulfill me in my life or else I will never be content and miss out on God's goodness...ministry does not satisfy, being fluent in Spanish does not satisfy, a husband does not satisfy, babies and children, and orphans and money...NOTHING SATISFIES, only you Lord my Rock."  

I remember when I was writing this, I was having a particularly difficult day. I am working in hospitality here at YWAM San Diego/Baja. This is a huge job, it takes up nearly 80% of my time sometimes. My job is to make sure rooms are clean, people have snacks, the buildings are clean, people are taken care of. I love it, I love taking care of people but it is an exhausting job. It has been a struggle for me. I will not lie to you my readers, I was mad. I was mad at so much. I work the most on weekends because that is when we have our build teams here building for Homes of Hope. I haven't been to a church service in about a month or so. I do ministries in Zona Norte in my free time. I was frusturated because if I could have my way I would be in Zona Norte every day. I didn't understand why God would do this to me. This all was building up in my soul and I was becoming a bitter and stressed person. I was entertaining the idea of quitting. I couldn't do it. So on November 2nd I was reflecting, and I was blown away by the revelation that God gave me. I wrote and wrote and wrote. God clearly spoke to me, "NOTHING SATISFIES". I laid back on my bed and prayed and prayed, for more revelation, for peace, for forgiveness! I was measuring my happiness based on what I wanted, or what I thought God wanted. In my mind I wasn't doing children's ministry enough so I was not satisfied. But it isn't about what we do, no matter how holy it is. You could be washing the feet of the homeless but if you aren't doing it for the glory of God, you will be left empty. You can have all this world but give me Jesus. He is the only thing that fills our hearts. He calls us to serve and sometimes that just looks different than we thought.  

This song by Hillsong Live has been really impacting me, surrender all to Jesus and he will satisfy you. 

I Surrender by Hillsong Live

Here are some random pictures from Zone Kids. God has really blessed me with getting to teach these precious ones! 

This is Isreal. As you can see he is quite the character. He really doesn't like to sit and wants to play soccer the whole time. I am struggling as to how to get him to like to sit and play games with us. He is so precious and has really good things to say but I can tell he is dealing with a lot in his little mind, so please pray for him and what ever situation he is coming from. He is showing off his medal he made, we wrote down the talents God gives us on our medals. Isreal wrote, soccer, math, and addition. 

This is Alejandro! He is 6, he loves soccer and he is probably the best listener in my class at Zone Kids. Pray for him, as he is so well behaved and I don't him to be influenced by the other kids or by the world around him. 

Here is Leonardo working on a craft we did about saying nice things to each other and being a good friend. 

Here are a few of my kids, Perla, Ivana, Gabriel, Michelle, Leonardo, Roberto, Alejandro.
Please pray for them that they would be protected from the Evil One as they come from very difficult places. And please pray for me, that I would share Jesus' love with them effectively.