Compelled to Go: If We Were A Movie

I should have known. I should have known life isn't like the movies. Everything can look like a movie, the perfect wedding, the perfect dress, the perfect groom but its never like the movies. It hit me on our honeymoon. My imagination told me walking off into the sunset was going to be the best moment in my whole life. But you realize, life keeps going. The sun still shines, people still grocery shop, everyone goes to work the next day. Life doesn't stop just because you suddenly become a Mrs. You still have to go to the bathroom, eat food, wash your clothes. Although your living situation changes, the world around you doesn't change, there is no cosmic shift.

On our honeymoon I got a little depressed. Why wasn't everything rainbows and unicorns? I was beyond happy to finally be with Gallo, to be his wife but there was no dancing in the streets or romantic music playing in the background. I didn't go with my girlfriends to some chic cafe to talk about my new love life, nothing happened, life went on.

I have a new fascination with Mexican movies. Mexico can produce some pretty good movies! I feel like it helps me learn more about the culture (granted its secular culture but I want to relate with people.) Part of the Mexican culture as you can tell by their very popular soap operas is quite *ahem....dramatic in comparison with the at times stoic Americans. And its funny because in their movies whether it be a chick flick or a drama, still have that hint of soap opera. The girl is always in distress and panicky with a squeaky voice and the guy is always either a grungy bad boy or the best friend who is friend zoned until the last 10 minutes of the movie. Anyways, in my head marriage was like that. There would be the times I was in distress on the side of the road in my stilettos and perfect hair and Gallo would come running with this shirt slightly unbuttoned and unshaven. But reality is, me sitting in the car un-showered and grumpy and Gallo coming to save me and then we go for tacos and then to sleep. Even if we add in the passionate making out it still doesn't satisfy that unrealistic image I have in my head.

You could say movies ruined me, that I am forever ruined, my idea of true love is skewed. But I don't think I am ruined, I think I am human. I was expecting that my husband, sex, passion, love, fun, romance, and even life in general would satisfy that desire for contentment. One day I woke up next to my husband and realized I was seeking a lie. It was so simple, something I have been taught and have taught all my life. Nothing satisfies except Jesus. When I began to seek after my Savior, my heart was filled in a way that nothing else can. I am blessed beyond reason, I am undeserving of anything I have. But God in his infinite wisdom gave me his precious Son and eternal life. He also gave me at the perfect time, a man after His own heart. A husband who loves me, cares for me, and cherishes me. With a thankful heart I gladly accept the blessings that come with marriage, and when I seek my Savior and His righteousness, the blessing it is to be a wife becomes so grand.

So the next time I am stuck in the middle of the Mexican jungle and Gallo comes to save me and we walk into the sunset together, I am just going to praise God for the amazing life we have together.